An STD Help Community

Last year I contracted herpes from a stupid one-night stand. I had a terrible first outbreak but didn't think any more of it until I had another oubreak yesterday. I recently got a new partner and he insists on using condoms even though I'm on the pill to be safe, but we both got very drunk a few nights ago and he forgot. I had an outbreak three days after this and I'm really worried I've given it to him. I don't know whether it would be better to tell him or to keep my mouth shut, since we havent been going out very long and there's still the chance that he hasn't contracted it. I feel so dirty. I don't know how common herpes is where I live; I don't want to talk to anybody about it because it's a bit disgusting. I'm afraid he won't like me anymore if he finds out.

It's always hard to have the talk. But if your being intimate you really should. This is how I got HPV and I can tell you and as you may already know I wish he had told me.

If you had an outbreak right after you were with him he: one, either has it and stirred up an outbreak or two, he probably contracted it from you.

It's hard but it's the right thing to do. And who knows what could happen you may find he's the special one out there that understands and will still stick around.

I have HPV and i understand how you feel i've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half and i was diagnosed with it a couple of months when we started going out. It was very embarrassing for me to tell him. But i eventually told him and he loves me very much and we are still together. Even though i still have it he chooses not to wear a condom knowing there's a great possibility that he could contract it. If your boyfriend loves you and still wants to be with you he'll wear a condom and understand. Good luck

from a males point of view there may be a little bit of anger but you can get through it and in the end he will understand. it is also important to keep in mind not just your feelings and emotions but also the health of other individuals as well.

Positivesingles? cynthia3325

i have no idea wether i have any stds at this point. but society puts such a stigma on it that every year when it comes time for my yearly female exam i freak out. i try dodging the appointment for a few months before workin up the nerve to go in. so far in my life so good but i also realize it is inevitable if i plan to remain sexually active my whole life. statistic prove almost everyone will catch something sooner or later. this comforts me a little. it also comforts me a little to know so many people have at least one that it can almost be considered normal. it isnt the disease im scared of. its other people. i am terrified of society. that i will never find love in this world becuae people will flip out if i tell them i have something. its being alone that scares me. being sexless and unloved.

and so i am supposed to have my yearly exam today and as usual i am flippin out , praying to every god that ever existed, and wishing society was smarter and less cruel. treated people less like lepars and acted less like hypocrits (being that 80 percent of those treating std people like lepars are themselves carryin an std wether they know it or not). and im flipping out more than usual this time around because im currently single. im also suppoesed to be meeting someone for the first time next week that i like and we were supposed to have some funz. im flipping out because if im told this time that ive finally caufght something incurable how will i tell him. i fear he will flip out and walk away.

Well Sally at least you would tell him. Thats very important.

I think you should tell him. He has the every right to know all these things. Don't feel ashamed or dirty about yourself. Nowadays, Herpes is just a common disease. Besides, It's curable and common. If happens that your partner leave you after telling him that you have a STD, then it only means he doesn't love you. Because love is accepting the person for what he/she is. Including all those your weakness, ugliness and etc.

I just contracted herpes 3 months ago, from somebody I search for 9 years.
I wish he would have told me. I'm scared to mess with anyone.
I feel like he took my freedom away.

It will be ok. A lot of people have herpes and the numbers are skewed because they don't regularly test for it or report it during STD screenings. Just don't do what he did to you. When you find yourself with a new person, which you will hun, make sure they know that you have herpes. They will respect you more for letting them know.

I've herd plenty of stories of people sticking around after this talk.

omg how could you do that. in my opinion if you want to have intercourse with him you should have told him before . it was his right to choose now you could of messed up his life.

It is important to tell any new partner before you do anything so they don't end up in the same boat as yourself but it is very hard and rejection is a scary thing to have to deal with. Either way though it's the right thing to do.

I just found out that I have HPV. I havent had intercourse with the new guy I met a few months ago because we were both being tested before having intercourse...He was clean and I have HPV. I think this guy might have been the one but he is probably gonna dump me when he finds out this news. I really don't blame him. How would we ever have a normal intercourse life like this?

Btw he really wants kids and I do too. If you always have to have protected intercourse how does that work? Will I never be able to have children?? Someone please advise because I am really scared

Well first off when you get tested for STDs they don't normally test for HPV. Did you look at his results I'll bet it's not part of the screening.

Second you can have children in most cases when you have HPV so don't get too over worried about it just yet. (Talk to your doctor about it.)

Third He may be more open then you think. In fact he may even have it and might be too scared to tell you. You never know...

It is better to be honest with your partner. It is quite certain that one day or other your partner come to know about all in the future. It will be a shattering experience then. In such situations you might require to take the support and assistance of a family counselor.